Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Wild Thang

Warning: This is an honest attempt to address a topic somewhat outside of our mainstream discourse…sex. As my friend, Sara, and I were talking about taboo topics when it came to backcountry education, naturally this subject came up. As a health professional, I asked Sara to share some of her thoughts on the subject with the RC community. What follows is simply food-for-thought and not meant to be an all-encompassing manual. There are MANY personal beliefs and preferences on the matter and this posting is not meant to sway you in any direction other than this: be safe so that your outdoor experience isn’t thwarted by ignorance or lack of planning. If you read no further than here, we will not be offended.
RC Sara is a sexual health educator at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
**She also takes pretty spectacular jumping pictures.**  

Doin’ it in God’s glorious playground can be amazing and unforgettable. With cool breezes, warm sunshine, water droplets, rustling leaves and the light touch of grass, it’s no wonder that a euphemism for sex is “getting’ wild.” Planning ahead for sex is important any time, but it’s of special importance in the backcountry. If you’re going into the wild and are even considering getting down and dirty with your companion, you need to plan accordingly.

Your packing list is up to you but as you’re planning, pause to consider needs for protection, sanitation and your ability to pack out what you pack in. No one wants to see trash in our wild lands, especially of this more personal nature.

If your personal items contain anything with an odor, all normal wilderness rules apply. Pack so that these items can be easily separated from the rest of your gear and contained in your bear bag/barrel. Bringing an extra Ziploc bag for TP is always recommended, but pack one more for items requiring more discretion (wrap it in duct tape for even more privacy).

Other items you should consider packing could include a quick-dry towel, blanket or old t-shirt. Sleeping bags are no fun to wash unless you own a commercial washing machine, so the items above can act as a barrier. Also make sure you’ve brought some biodegradable soap and a washcloth. REI has a great article on hygiene and sanitation in the backcountry HERE.

Where to do it (in order of least risky to most risky)?
Quietly inside your tent with a barrier between your sleeping items and your bodies is the least risky spot. If you’re camping with friends, noises and tent movement can be a dead giveaway, so camp etiquette would say to hold off on your urges until you’re alone.

A two person hammock is another option. Your biggest challenge here will be keeping yourselves from falling out.
     *Remember that getting busted while having sex in public can bring a hefty fine or result in a  more horrific “offender” label on your record. Heck, these days, it could end up on YouTube! Find a spot where you’re very unlikely to be seen by others.

On the ground may seem an obvious choice, but one with a bit more risk. Choose your spot wisely! Avoid stinging nettles, poison ivy etc. Dirt and bugs are hard to avoid completely so if you really want to connect to the earth, lay something between you and the ground.

Under a waterfall or in a mountain stream....ehhhh not so much. Remember that hikers don’t even drink water in the backcountry without treatment or filtering. Don’t invite those parasites elsewhere!

Sex on the beach is definitely not an ideal location. It may sound like a good idea but sand tends to find its way into unwanted places.

Last note on location: Don’t forget that being naked could expose parts of you that never see the sunshine. Even short stints in the sun could cause sunburn. Similarly, with a rapid temperature drop, you may quickly end up as two hypothermia victims!

As in any sexual situation, consider the emotional ramifications. Whether you’re single, dating or in a committed relationship, make sure you are respectful of your partner. Being respectful is always important, but in the backcountry you may be relying on each other to survive - and for some time. One way to be respectful is to know and respect your partner’s comfort level. Additionally, keep in mind that while hiking, showers may be rare and razors are all but useless.

As a final addition to lighten it up, here are the top ten euphemisms for sex in a tent, excepted from “Sex in a Tent: A Wild Couples’ Guide to Getting Naughty in Nature" by Michelle Waitzman:

1. Answering the other call of nature
2. Painting the canvas
3. Howling at the moon
4. Keeping the bunnies awake
5. Working off the marshmallows
6. Driving in the tent pegs
7. Sharing body heat for survival
8. Gathering wood
9. Shakin’ the stakes
10. Flapping the fly

To learn more about sex, I recommend "The Guide to Getting it On" by Paul Joannides and "I Heart Female Orgasm" by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller. The only outdoor specific sex book I could find online was “Sex in a Tent: A Wild Couples’ Guide to Getting Naughty in Nature" by Michelle Waitzman but I can't say I've ever read it. Finally, if you have specific questions about sex, my fave site is goaskalice.com.

Having sex in the outdoors can be some of the most memorable sex you’ll ever have. Take care out there, explore the world and enjoy yourself!

No comments:

Post a Comment